Introducing Samantha Larsen one of our newest members of the Pure Living Family Foundation Board

Listen to the podcast episode here. 

Eva:

Hi, this is the Pure Living Family Podcast. I'm Eva, my little brother's Theo, and my mom and dad are Shawn and Angela.

Shawn:

Hey, friends. Welcome to another episode of the Pure Living Family Podcast. I'm really excited to introduce you to Sam Larsen, who's become a close friend to our family, both her and Tyler, and you'll get to know Tyler a little later. But one thing a lot of parents face as their child gets the diagnosis of autism or other chronic autoimmune illnesses is an existential crisis. Their worldview changes the way that we view and perceive the world completely shifts because the way that we visualize our life has just drastically changed. And so what we strive to do here at the Pure Living Family Foundation is to provide support to help you really process the diagnosis and figure out next steps. And in this interview, you really hear Sam and Tyler's story when their son Ty received his autism diagnosis and how they navigated it, both while they had very little to no money.

And then once Tyler was picked up into the NFL, signed with an NFL team, how challenging it was to be separated with that responsibility and those commitments. This family is an incredible family. We're very lucky to have them part of our team, and we're really excited for you all to get to know them. Let us know what you think in the comments on social media, and I hope you enjoy this interview.

Hey friends. Welcome to another episode of the Pure Living Family Podcast. I'm really excited for tonight's episode that I'm recording with our new friends, Sam Larsen. Sam, welcome to the podcast and thanks for joining us.

Samantha:

Yeah, thanks for having me. So excited to be here.

Shawn:

Well, I want to give everyone an opportunity to really get to know you and your background. So first of all, tell us a little bit about yourself, where you grew up and your background.

Samantha:

So I was actually born and raised in Southern California in Rancho Cucamonga. Everyone gets a kick out of that name, but I actually grew up going to school in Arcadia. I have two older brothers. They're 10 years older and 14 years older than me, so I was kind like an only child, but I always looked up to my brothers, so I was a little tomboy. I would buy the same shoes as my brothers, the same clothes. I love them so much. Yeah, but I was always an athlete. Just my dad was always into sports, so my whole life, literally my whole life was all about softball. So that was-

Shawn:

How old were you when you started playing?

Samantha:

I was three when I started playing t-Ball. Oh, wow. I still remember my first double play in t-Ball, and I remember who it was with. His name was Ian, I still remember that.

Shawn:

Okay, so softball, big part of your life. And that was from three until what age?

Samantha:

Until college. Through college. I didn't get to do... Once we got really competitive, I mean, we literally would have tournaments on Halloween. That was my life. And you can ask my cousins. If we went on vacation, I had to take my gear and I had to practice. You can ask. They'll all validate that one for me. Literally, it was my life. And yeah, it was hard though because, so where I grew up, where we lived was about miles wise, it was about 25 miles away from where I went to school my whole life, because my parents both worked for the school district, so I got to go to school in Arcadia, but it took us about 45 to 55 minutes every morning to get there. And my parents, they had to be at work by 6:30 in the morning. So I was up my entire life since I was born, because they dropped me off at my grandma until kindergarten. So I was up at 4:45 every morning until, I can't even tell you because we had to travel every morning. So my life was kind of different than most kids.

Shawn:

It sounds super unique, but probably both good and bad with that. So I guess what were some of the takeaways from that lifestyle?

Samantha:

I think I learned how important... Honestly, it kind of made me a perfectionist. I didn't really have much of a choice then to kind of be an old soul. Most kids don't have to wake up at 4:45, they have to plan out their outfits. And then I had lessons after school, so I always took self-accountability. So for instance, I would just automatically do my homework as soon as I could, or I'd sneak it in on the bus rides or in the car rides home, because when I got home, it was just sports and then bed. So yeah, I was always kind of like an older soul, I would say.

Shawn:

So that takes you all the way to college. And talk to us about that experience with Utah State and what that experience was like.

Samantha:

Yeah, it was definitely a culture shock. College in general, just my parents... I went from being and living with my parents 24/7 under their care and then dropped off in a whole new state. I got a scholarship to Utah State as a catcher, and I was really excited. It's weird because the reason I chose Utah is when I was first getting recruited, well, when I grew up, one of my favorite vacations was going to Lake Powell growing up. My uncle and aunt had a houseboat and they would treat us to Lake Powell. And that's literally all I knew about Utah, which is really ironic because that's this much portion of what actually Utah looks like. And that's all I knew. But for some reason I told my coaches, I was like, "I will only either stay in California or I'll go to Utah. I will not go to any other state because..." It's so random, so weird. I don't know what I was thinking, but now I do.

Shawn:

Tell me more. What do you mean?

Samantha:

Yeah, so I met Tyler in Utah and my whole life was just finally great. And it's weird too because Tyler grew up going to Lake Powell as well. So we like to think we knew each other when we were there. We pretend. We're like, "I bet we saw each other."

Shawn:

On the neighboring houseboat.

Samantha:

Yeah. Yeah, so college was, my freshman year was really hard actually. It's a lot different from travel ball, college softball. It's just you're used to getting that one-on-one time. I had individual lessons probably at least twice a week for my whole, since I was, I don't even know in fourth grade through high school, obviously. I was getting individualized coaching. And then you go and it's only team stuff. You get minimal one-on-one. You don't really have much one-on-one guidance, and your coaches want you to do things in these new ways. And it was hard for me, but it was good for me too. I grew up a lot and I had to navigate that and kind of, I don't know, grow up, I guess.

Shawn:

When did you meet Tyler? Was that freshman year?

Samantha:

I met Tyler, so I had surgery after my freshman year, and in the summertime everyone leaves Cache Valley, so I was the only person I knew and basically all the girls were gone. I was the only one there and I was spending the night, I was spending the nights in another football house, a bunch of my guy friends who were there for football, they had to be there for football. My mom couldn't fly out, so I was staying on their couch. And they were like, well, specifically one of our friends who introduced us, actually, he would leave my medicine out on the floor for me before early weights. Well anyways, because of him, he invited Tyler over one day and I thought I knew everyone, because I'm pretty talkative and social. I had never seen him. I'm like, "Who? I don't know who you are."

Shawn:

Who's that hottie?

Samantha:

No, I literally was just, it wasn't even like I thought, no offense, I love him so much, but I didn't even think of him that way. I was just like, "Oh, nice to meet you." And my first question was, "Do you have an Xbox?" And he was like, "Yeah." And I guess he had just gotten this Xbox. He'd saved up enough of his own money to buy this used Xbox the week before. And I was like, "Do you have Call of Duty?" And he was like, "Yeah." I was like, "We're going to be best friends. You don't know it."

So that's when I met him and I really did force myself to be his friend. I forced myself on him, poor guy. And I would just game at his house. I'd use his Xbox when he wasn't there, because they had... And I just wanted his Xbox, to be honest. His kill death ratio was absolutely destroyed by me playing it. And I didn't really understand how important that was. But your KD ratio is, it is what people see when you sign on. That is what they know how good you are. So I thrashed it. And he was just sweet and patient. Yeah, I met him that way.

Shawn:

That's funny. So then that's after your freshman year. You guys start dating and how long until you guys were engaged and married?

Samantha:

Yeah, so that was the summer after my freshman year. We dated for a little over a year, got engaged, got married less than a year after getting engaged in May of 2013. So right before starting our senior year, his red shirt senior year. So we were married for our last year of college, which was really, really fun.

Shawn:

That is awesome. I didn't know that about you guys. Did you have your own place that senior year then together?

Samantha:

Yeah, we had this cute little town home back when you could rent a two bedroom, one and a half bathroom, two story townhome for like $400.

Shawn:

That's awesome. And then, okay, so you're married your senior year. He's then drafted into the NFL, walk us through the next stages of life.

Samantha:

So actually it was really our life, it was weird to be honest and hard. Even looking back at our journey now we really have to kind of focus on there's a better plan going on. And not to look too far into things because his senior year or even his junior year, he was top three in the nation centers. You can go back to all the records. He was top three centers in the nation. And so we were getting, well, he was getting agents coming all the time even in his junior year, even thinking about going and entering the draft his junior year. But we were like, "No, we're good." And we don't want to be apart. So yeah, so we picked our agent finally his senior year, and then it just didn't go. We don't know why.

He ended up playing in the Reese's Senior Bowl game and then was it when you were running your 40, yeah, for the combine? And he pulled his hammy before, right before. And that we were thinking maybe that played a role, but he did not get drafted. It was a really hard day actually, because I was playing in Vegas. It was my last tournament, and everyone was waiting for the call and we never got that call. It was really hard. It makes me emotional, but it was so good for us to be honest. So we started, basically all of our dreams just crashed. We moved in with his parents. He landscaped for his dad, literally was a landscaper for his dad. We could hardly, I think we were paying his parents $80 if we could afford that, if we could. Yeah, it was hard. Two years actually.

And each time, the first year he got picked up by the Dolphins, the first year. He made it through maybe first cuts, I think, yeah, and then got cut. So that was really heartbreaking. We were so lost. Kept staying in shape, waiting for our agents to get a call. Got a call the next year for the Redskins, yeah, the Redskins. Made it through, got cut again before final cuts. So we were like at this point, wow, this is just, it's gone.

I was pregnant after that. We still felt like we wanted to start a family. We were nuts to be honest. I was in nursing school and then he finally made it. He got a call for a tryout with the Panthers and Ray Brown saved us and got him on the squad and he made the final 53 man cuts that year. I literally, I was eight and a half months pregnant and living with his parents and we were crying and stuff. And I told him, I was like, "I already booked my flight." I had booked the flight for the next morning. They were like, "What?" I was just so excited. I missed him, kept living those two years apart, because he'd be gone from spring training through summer. So it was really hard, actually. It was a weird journey. I don't know. But I'm sure there was a reason.

Shawn:

So what year was his senior year, 2013?

Samantha:

'14.

Shawn:

'14. And then he made the team made the roster in '16?

Samantha:

Yeah. Yeah, September of '16 we found out.

Shawn:

And that's when you were pregnant?

Samantha:

I was due in October and we found out the first couple days of September.

Shawn:

Oh, wow.

Samantha:

So I just dropped out of nursing school and flew to Charlotte.

Shawn:

What an exciting time. And then talk about that first pregnancy and getting settled into that new life.

Samantha:

Yeah, it was awesome. Well, my pregnancy was hard, but having our daughter was the best thing in the world for us. We were in heaven. We finally were living on our own, felt like adults, and had an income. We had never had an income. We lived off of our parents in college and then, yeah. So it was really awesome and everything was good. Livy was a little bit, she was a hard baby actually, she was. But it was good, life was great. We thought we were living the dream. We had a little apartment in the city, so he was only a one minute drive from the stadium, which was really nice. We had our dogs, and yeah, we loved being our own little family unit. We really thrived in that and we still do. We love it.

Shawn:

So Livy's born and then how long until you're pregnant with Ty?

Samantha:

Yeah, so Livy's born and when she was about eight months old, I got pregnant with little Ty and we were really, really excited to have a boy because that's what I always wanted. I always wanted a boy. I was praying my first would be a boy. So I was actually kind of like, "Aww, man." When I found out I was having a girl. But yeah, so she was eight months old. They're 16 months apart.

Shawn:

Wow.

Samantha:

I think it was around Father's Day that I told him that I was pregnant. I still remember the day.

Shawn:

I'm sure that was an awesome Father's Day present.

Samantha:

Yeah.

Shawn:

So talk through that. So Ty's born in what year?

Samantha:

2018. February of 2018.

Shawn:

Okay. And then, so first baby's a girl, then second baby's a boy, seems like you guys are getting a perfect mix. Talk us through that process of when he's born in the next year.

Samantha:

Yeah, it was perfect. I look back and I'm like, I didn't even know how good it was and how lucky we were because we got a boy and a girl first try. Perfect. We were ecstatic. He was the best baby too. I got my boy I always wanted. Because my whole life was girl sports, but I loved boy sports. I loved watching baseball with my dad, football with my dad. So my whole life I wanted boys and I just was so excited to be able to learn from the bottom up men's sports. I was just so excited and just have, I don't know why for me, the boys in sports go together for me, even though I was the girl. And I don't know why, that's just a thing. So in my head I'm like, I'm going to have this boy who's going to be super athletic. And yeah, he was great. He was the sweetest boy, easiest baby, happiest baby, just would hang out with us. Wasn't fussy, nursed really well. Yeah, he was doing great.

Shawn:

And then at what point did he start? What age did he start regressing and then getting a diagnosis?

Samantha:

With Ty I like to describe it as more of a slow poisoning, if that kind of... I know some, it's very sudden. Ty, it was more gradual. So his first week after being born, my kids were C-sections. Living with an emergency, and I did not know any better, and the doctors told me, once you have one emergency, it's probably just best to stay safe and not risk anything. And Tyler's very protective of me and my wellbeing and we were just scared into making that decision. It wasn't an option to try a VBAC. I didn't even know what that term meant. So yeah, so my kids were both C-sections and within the first week he had a yeast. He had a yeast on his little crotch. He was always sick, just typical sickness, like runny nose, cough, boogers, normal, and then some fevers.

It was like he just could never get ahead or catch up, but he was still doing fine gross motor and awareness. He was just sick though, until it's that sickness when you're sick and you don't feel good, you just kind of get kind of like malaise. And eventually I wrote it down and he was getting antibiotics, Tylenol, Motrin, around the clock. That's what they told me. They're like, just around the clock, do that. And then it was December, so whatever, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, October, yeah, 10 months old. I wrote in the doctor's thing. I have all of my transcripts, "Ty's been quiet for a couple weeks."

Shawn:

And so I'm sure that was concerning. What next? What happened? What played out next?

Samantha:

Yeah, so I just didn't think much of it, I don't think because both of our families at that point in time were just traditionally western mind based and focused. I didn't have any support or guidance in anything other than those typical interventions. And no one said anything to me. Everyone just said it's normal, or you have insurance, take him to the doctor. That's what the insurance is for. And so I would take him in and they would do the same thing. So from then, from 10 months on, it was like that voice never... He just kept staying quiet.

He used to make sounds and babble play with us, and he just retreated after that. It was just a slow retreat after that. And then, yeah, I got concerned about his lack of words after that, probably around 13 months, 14 months is when we saw a big shift in him after that visit, wellness visit. We got them early because we were taking a trip to Utah and our pediatrician at the time was like, "Well, we'll just do them now since you're not going to be here." And so we got him a little bit early and I think we got a little bit more than he should have at that time, and that just kind of sealed the deal. We just never heard his voice after that.

Shawn:

So from there, did you go and get an official diagnosis and if so, when was that?

Samantha:

Yeah, actually my best friend, I was lucky enough to have a best friend who was an RBT whose cousin had actually recovered from autism. So I was connected with her aunt very early on when I had concerns. Well, I was aware of autism because of her. I vocalized my worry of him not talking and she mentioned autism. She's like, "Oh, I bet that's scary just with the whole autism thing." And I was like, "What? I don't even know what that is." And that's when I started researching and we got him in speech therapy and the speech therapist was... I remember, I think I knew, I just didn't really want to know. But then I remember asking the speech therapist if she saw red flags and she did.

Shawn:

So yeah, this is a really heavy topic, obviously, and obviously super emotional. So at what point, you said 10 months you saw him kind of retreating. At what point is this happening where you're hearing, what is he 15 months?

Samantha:

This is 15 months. This is like 15 months, 16 months. So he's in speech therapy and I could just tell that he's just being different. And when she said that, that was the hardest day, actually. That was harder than his diagnosis. We got a diagnosis pretty quickly after that because I was like, all I found out was the quicker you can get ABA, the quicker you can recover. That's all I kept finding. So I went in to get his diagnosis in October of that year. So he was 20 months old, October 24th. And I went in just saying, "I know my son has autism. I just really need a diagnosis. I already know everything."

She applauded me and I was like, "I just need a lot of ABA, just prescribe him as much as you can." And then she left me with a pamphlet and well, she told me, she goes, "Have you heard of DAN doctors?" And I lied because I had known about healing my son. I also knew the healing of it and I didn't share that because I knew that probably wouldn't be accepted by her, and luckily I didn't. She said, "Do you know of DAN doctors?" I said, "No." And she goes, "Good, don't ever take him to one." And I just left that conversation. I just left being like, "Wow. That's what you tell parents?"

Shawn:

Where was this? Is this in North Carolina, South Carolina?

Samantha:

Yeah, a mental pediatrician in Charlotte. Yep.

Shawn:

So throughout this process, talk a little bit about you and Tyler's relationship and the diagnosis and how you guys managed it together.

Samantha:

Yeah, it was really hard, because he was in season, so I was all alone. I had to take him to the diagnosis by myself, I had to do all the therapy by myself. It was really hard. Tyler is, I mean, now he's changed recently, but he's one to hold in his emotions. I have never seen him cry. I had never seen him cry at that point or show any kind of sadness. He was just my rock. I think he felt like he needed to be like that. So he just tried to make me feel okay and keep us uplifted and positive. We're really lucky because we were best friends before we got married, and so it brought us closer. A lot of times it tears families apart, but it brought us closer because we shared in this the hardships together. But it was hard on him, I know he just didn't let it out. So he was holding it all in, all the emotions.

Shawn:

Okay, so it brings you guys closer together. He's obviously in season, so he's managing a lot for being with his team, but then being with the family, what happens next?

Samantha:

Yeah, I found TACA and I just hit the functional medicine. I just hit it. I hit the research. I was in the books, on Google 24/7. I was able to get him in with a former... The DAN protocols, they were shut down by then, so it's just functional medicine. Got him in with a functional doctor pretty soon, and was in close contact with my best friend's aunt. We were talking daily. I got her book. I was trying everything to just save my son, save his future of what I could. Changed diet. My whole life flipped upside down. I just went nuts. I'm like a pure mom, maternal instinct of just, I've got to wake up. I will not accept this. This is not his future.

Shawn:

Is it about this time that you find Angela or when did you come across her?

Samantha:

I don't remember when I found Ange. I don't think so, not yet on Instagram. Instagram wasn't super big then for me at least. I don't think I found... When did I find Ange? Yeah, I don't remember. It's like a blur. I was living in a research blur. I was just reading books and trying to figure out to make sense of his labs at that time. I was like, "Why does he have a..." I remember meeting my TACA mentor and being like, "Why does he have aluminum in him? What's going on? I don't get it. Where is he..." And she wouldn't say, because she said, "You just got to do your own research, sweetheart. You've got to..." There's lots of things. It was hard to navigate. People weren't so open about...

Shawn:

Well, what is the TACA mentor? What was that like?

Samantha:

Yeah, so it was great. You get a free mentor, so a local one, whoever's local to you. Her name's Krista, she's just someone who's been there before, done it before and who's very knowledgeable, who can help you kind of guide you, which I need. Everyone needs that kind of help. But it definitely took a toll on me. Like I said, I was living in a blur. I can't even remember much of... It was just a fight or flight for me.

Shawn:

Yeah, we totally understand that. We went through, it was probably a similar timeframe because he was diagnosed in 2018 with autism, and it probably took about a year of Angela being in the same head space of what you're describing. She would research everything and then I'd come home from work and she would download all this information onto me and I had no idea what she was talking about. It felt like it was this woo woo hippie logic that made absolutely no sense. And she wanted me to comprehend and understand everything, and I just couldn't. We'd actually had a lot of fights about it where I'd come home some days and be like, I don't want to hear anything about autism. I don't want to talk about any holistic naturopathic remedies. I just want to come home and watch TV and relax. Did you guys face any of that, or what was your experience when you're doing all the research? Were you trying to download everything to Tyler too?

Samantha:

Yeah, for sure. I was telling him everything, and I kind of remember a little bit at first him kind of thinking I was crazy a little bit and not really being on board, just kind of like, "Well..." But I can't remember how or why he finally just, when he was on board, he was on board. And it wasn't super long, because I hardly remember it. He can remember it. He's like, "No, I remember not believing in you a little bit and just kind of like..." Maybe he was just more silent about it.

Shawn:

That's really interesting because I think there's a lot of dads that go through the denial phase for a lot longer than moms. I think moms jumped into fight mode a lot faster than dads. At least that's been my experience. I thought Theo was always going to grow out of it. It was just a stage that he eventually would catch up with the rest of his cohort, his age group. And it was like a year where Ange was just killing herself off researching, getting very little sleep and seeing her in a burnout where I finally decided, okay, I got to chip in here.

I got to start investigating from my own side, from the dad's side, and everyone from the podcast already kind of knows. She came forward to me with a diet change and I thought she was crazy. I thought, this is so dumb. So I finally was like, "You get two weeks and after the two weeks, I don't want to hear it again." And after a week, it changed our life. It changed our world. So do you feel like there was a turning point that you guys have together as a family?

Samantha:

Yeah, I feel like Tyler definitely is the one to put up more of a fight with that kind of stuff. It's just hard. It's hard to have to change your lifestyle and diet. He'll be the first one to admit that it's hard for him. I think, like you said, moms, we're in fight or flight, so we're like, I'll do anything.

Shawn:

Yeah.

Samantha:

But yeah, I just remember it was very fast for me. I just threw out everything. I learned every diet, learned everything, went and did the reads, so I learned reads, so I knew how to read ingredients, but honestly to get how healthy diet wise we are now, it's been a process for sure. You always think, oh, I'm doing great. And then you look back, you're like, oh my gosh, I wasn't really doing that great. But in that time, you do the best you can do. Yeah, our whole life changed and it changed everything.

Shawn:

Well, I'm betting that growing up, going to Lake Powell that you're eating all sorts of sweets and junk food. I did. I don't know if you guys did growing up.

Samantha:

You don't want to know what we grew up on, and that's a whole nother thing. Gosh, I could talk forever about all this. Yeah, we both grew up, I grew up on Top Ramen and egg, and none of this is organic. So yeah, Top Ramen and egg, noodles with butter and that fake Parmesan Kraft cheese and then canned beans, chili beans with wieners, with hot dogs. And my dad does not like meat hot dogs. He likes the fake, just the gross hot dogs.

Shawn:

No, the reason I ask the question is it's a cultural change. Even on the biological level, when I would go on vacation, I would eat Gushers and Twizzlers and all the goodies. And so now growing as an adult, now I'm on a boat and I crave those things. It's on a DNA cellular level. And so to change that is really challenging. It's so hard.

Samantha:

It's been the hardest thing I'd say. It's still something we struggle with. Yeah, I grew up eating a whole box of Fruit Roll-Ups a day, hot Cheetos. Hot Cheetos every day. Yeah. I look back and I'm like, wow, there's so many things I want to change in the world. How are we not supporting our collegiate athletes? That's a big one now for me. I look back and I'm like, wow, we really needed nutrition. We were feeding our bodies junk. You wonder why you can't perform. It starts when you're little.

Shawn:

Oh, for sure. I have knee inflammation challenges to this day, and I feel like if I had eaten better nutrition, I maybe could have performed better as an athlete and not had so many knee issues from running on concrete, that plays a part. But yeah, I'm sure the nutrition I had really made it more difficult. So I bring that up just because I feel like a lot of people can relate. The diet change is always the first step, but it's a ginormous step for a lot of people. So I wanted to get your take on that. But well, tell me, you don't recall when you met Angela? So was it when Tyler reached out to me that we all connected? I don't know when you guys actually connected with us. I assumed it was Angela, because she's just so popular.

Samantha:

Yeah, no, it wasn't until you. I think she has so many people messaging her, so it wasn't until you brought it up to her that she reached out to me finally because I had been following Theo for a little bit, probably maybe like six months from, so whatever, six months from maybe a year ago. And I told Tyler, I was like, "You need to reach out to him because she's never going to see me. I'm just one in a million fish, but you have the bigger name. You're a professional athlete. I bet if you reach out to him and we can get connected with them." Because we wanted to be friends with you guys so bad. We had zero friends who understood us. It's lonely. And you were in Utah, which is home to us. And yeah, I had already formed this bond with Theo. I hadn't met him, and I already loved that boy, and I was more excited to meet Theo.

Shawn:

It's funny you say that, because Angela was most excited to meet you. She doesn't care about professional sports in the slightest. I was geeking out. I was like trying to act out cool, like, oh yeah, this NFL player, he wants to hang out. He wants to get to know me. And I was stoked about it, I still am. I feel super lucky to be friends with Tyler, and we'll have another episode later where everyone can get to know Tyler a little bit more, but Angela was super excited to connect with you, and she could hear the passion in your messages of your eagerness to work on this challenge. So we're really feel lucky to know you guys, and we've asked you guys to join the board and you guys have accepted. So thank you very much for that. Tell us why you would want to be involved with the Pure Living Family Foundation.

Samantha:

Oh yeah. We feel so grateful to be a part of it and try to help make this big, because we've been there. Like I said, when your kid has that diagnosis and stuff, it's really hard. It's really hard, and you are fight or flight. A lot of us moms, that's what we go to. I know not all moms, but for a lot of us, it's like you lose your life for a while. You're a slave to research. You're desperate. You're not living. Your other kids are neglected in ways, kind of, your relationships get neglected. And so when we connected with you guys and found out what you're doing with Pure Living Family, there wasn't a doubt about it. It wasn't until I realized that I needed to get ahold of my nervous system in order to heal Ty. That was a really hard pill to swallow, and one that was really hard to understand at the time.

Once I did, it changed everything. Our kids depend on us. They lean on our constitution, our energy, what we're putting out. They can feel it. They can sense your stress, your anger, your sadness, your worries. So yeah, I do know how important that is for parents to take care of themselves, to heal themselves and be at a good place in order to serve their kids and really help their kids reach their maximum potential. So we're super passionate about that and we need to get that out there. We need more parents to realize quicker than me and Ange did to take care of themselves, to take a step back sometimes, and that that's okay. And it really is serving your child by doing that. You're not a bad mom or parent for taking care of yourself. That message really needs to get out there. And yeah, we want to help the kids, but you've got to help the parents too.

Shawn:

Well, thank you for echoing that, and we're so grateful to have you guys part of our team, and we really hope to reach as many people as we possibly can, because one thing you had mentioned when you got the pamphlet or the folder after the diagnosis, I hated that day. It made me angry. This folder is supposed to help me process one of the biggest days in my life. I hate that they just hand you a folder and there's no personal touch. So my goal is to kind of fill the gap for that, for those parents out there that just got the diagnosis, they have no idea what to do, to really have a network of people that understand and can feel with you. But we've got to mention your two beautiful other kids as well. So Livy, Ty, and then your two others. We've got Hudson and-

Samantha:

And Nova.

Shawn:

And Nova, so definitely want to mention them. I think that's another part. Maybe quickly just mention that, because you've got your neurotypical kids and a lot of your focus goes to the kid in need. How was that for you balancing all that?

Samantha:

It's really hard. Oh my gosh. Before Ty got his diagnosis, before we were even, it wasn't on our radar. I was pregnant. It was accidental, meant to be, but I got pregnant when Ty was two months old. I got pregnant with Huddy. So right after his first birthday, Huddy was born 10 days later, and that was hard because six months after that is when we got Ty's diagnosis. So I had three kids under three, and I really, Huddy's childhood. I don't even remember it. I felt terrible. I was not okay. It made it hard, but it's also been such a blessing to have more kids. I know, honestly, I felt kind of guilty. Then we had Nova, she's about almost a year. In two days, she'll be a year, but we still felt like our family was just missing something.

We just felt we needed some kind of joy, and she brought so much joy to our family. Having siblings for him, I think has helped me mentally. It's hard as well, but I think it has helped me think of the bigger picture in life. Sometimes I think you can get lost in only the autism world when it's just that's your every day and it's in your... So having the other kids, it brings the lightheartedness, I think, more for me, which I needed. It's hard though. It does come with struggles. I always worry if I'm being selfish, if I'm taking away from Ty by having other kids, that I'd be lying if I said those thoughts didn't cross my mind. I just have to tell myself that it's good for him and that there's [inaudible 00:45:56].

Shawn:

Well, I love your honesty. It's so beautiful, so refreshing. We have a lot of these dualities, these competing thoughts that run through our minds, but we just have about a minute left. If there was one thing that you could just say to parents that had just received the diagnosis, what would you say to them?

Samantha:

I would say to them, take a deep breath, remain calm, and I wish I could help them. I wish they need to find support. That is the first thing you need to do is find somewhere where you feel supported. Because in the end, if you feel supported in something, whatever you're going to do, you will be more successful in whatever that is you choose to do. But you have to have support, and you have to kind of be able to take a step back. Don't slip into that fight or flight quite yet if you can. It can serve us. It can definitely serve you, but finding that balance is going to be really important and that there's hope. That there's hope. Don't go to dark thoughts.

Shawn:

Yeah, that's really challenging and good advice. Sam, I'm super grateful to be able to have the opportunity to work with you and Tyler and serve the parents that are in need. I really appreciate you joining the podcast to tell your story, and then also just being willing to serve in whatever capacity we can with the Pure Living Family Foundation. So thank you very much for joining the podcast today.

Samantha:

Thanks for having me.

Eva:

Hi, this is the Pure Living Family Podcast. I'm Eva, my little brother's Theo, and my mom and dad are Shawn and Angela.